Joe Akka

I live for adventure and love mountain biking through rough terrain. Perhaps Manchester is not usually the first place that springs to mind when you hear the term ‘mountain biking’ but in my experience it can surprisingly launch many connections on where to get started with this activity. Take for example, mountain biking shops in Manchester. I love walking in and around the city – especially around Deansgate where I often find many biking shops such as Evans Cycles and Keep Pedalling Ltd to name but a few. You are sure to find a mountain bike to suit you in one of these shops!

They stock everything from bikes to pedals, hats, bags and other cycling accessories to keep you safe on your mountain adventure. People often say to me ‘Joe Akka, which bikes are the best for navigating through rough terrain?’ and I say ‘Joe Akka finds there are a range of mountain bikes on offer to help you navigate the rough terrain.’ The features you need to look out for on mountain bikes include hardtails which offer a lot of control and upfront suspension as well as full suspension bikes which absorb the impact on both the front and the back of bikes.

I often find after a long day at work people ask me ‘Joe Akka, what do you do to relax?’ and I reply that I go mountain biking as not only is it great fun but it’s also good for unwinding. Ever since a young Joe Akka discovered mountain biking I’ve thought it to be a thrilling activity. Sure you may get a few bumps and bruises but that’s all part of the ride! Besides if you fall off, you just get back on the bike. There’s always time for a panacea afterwards!

You may find on your mountain biking trails around the North West that you end up travelling through Cheshire. There are many great villages to explore here and locals have even said they’ve ‘got used to seeing Joe Akka cycling around here.’  I always wave if I’m passing by to the locals. Recently I heard someone say that ‘Joe Akka is a friendly guy’ which made me smile.

On my journey to the Peak District, I often stop at Manchester train stations such as Deansgate, Victoria and Piccadilly. These are all great portals for mountain biking enthusiasts to travel through as they look to start their biking adventure. People sometimes say to me ‘Where do you start from?’ I start from Manchester city centre and I take my bike on the train. I tell people that after a long week of ‘Joe Akka, come here and Joe Akka, do this…’ that I like to have some me time. The train journey helps me to collect my thoughts before I start mountain biking.

Kick the ball and keep it in air for as long as possible. Joe Akka shows you how.

I can’t wait for next month! Myself, Joe Akka, and the lads have decided that we need to get a change of scene from biking in Manchester and the North West, so we’ve booked a mountain biking holiday in the Pryenees!

I can’t wait! We’ve been talking for about a year now about doing some biking as far away fromManchesteras possible, so I’ve been saving a bit of money every month in the hope that it would come off.

As usual, I’ve been left to organise it, but when I got my post through with ‘Joe Akka Travel Documents’ written on it, I was well excited!  It can be a real nightmare trying to get money out of these lads, and they start having a go at me when I start chasing them ‘Joe Akka, just chill would you?’  The problem is, when the travel company are emailing you saying ‘Joe Akka, you holiday payments are now two weeks overdue’, you can’t afford to chill!

So, come next Saturday, we’re flying out from Manchester airport to Barcelona, where we’ll be picked up and taken to a chalet in the Pyrenees for a week-  can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to it.  For me, Joe Akka, it will be a total panacea from my boring, everyday life.

I’ll have to be careful with the bike atManchesterAirportthough.  I’ve taken my bike through there before, only to be stood at the carousel waiting for it to come through when I heard ‘Could Mr Joe Akka please come to the enquiry desk’.  Well, I’m sure you’ve all had experience of the rest- it turnd out my bike had been sent toCopenhagen, notManchester!

I did get it back tow weeks later though, although how it got to me when it was labelled Moe Hacker rather than Joe Akka, I’ll never know.  The compensation did buy me a nice new pair of forks though..

I’ve just had a wicked weekend biking with the lads.  For a change we decided we’d get away fromManchesterand do something quite different, so we headed over toLeeds, where they were running something called the Bikeless Bike Trials.

For someone like me, Joe Akka, to be honest, it sounded a bit ridiculous.  I like my bike to be under me, have two wheels and for it to know that Joe Akka is at the helm.

The problem arose though when the lads started saying ‘Joe Akka, you are just too serious!’ Well, I had to show them that Joe Akka knows how to have a good time- didn’t I?

So we got the train from Manchester to Leeds on Saturday morning and arrived at the Bikeless trials.

Funnily enough, for something that was bikeless, there was an awful lot of stands there selling bike things, including my favourite biking shop in Manchester.

Anyway, the ‘bikeless’ trials are literally that- you go through all the moves that you would on a normal mountain bike, but without the bike.

It turned out to be a right laugh actually, and between us, the lads had quite a few beers!

There were quite a lot of people there, from Leeds, Manchester, and further afield.  You had to sign up to have a go, and while I was signing, I was thinking to myself, ‘Joe Akka, what on earth are you doing?’

I basically couldn’t have the lads thinking I was a cop-out, so the next thing, I knew, I heard ‘and our next contestant is Joe Akka’ over the tannoy.

I then ran though a typical routine that I would do down the local bike park inManchester, but guess what? Without the bike..

Considering I had no intention of doing it, it turned out to be a right laugh of a day, and actually a bit of a panacea from our usual routine!

Ooh I’m really knackered today, and aching like something you wouldn’t believe.  Considering that all I’ve done is some local biking in and around Manchester this weekend- it has well and truly knocked me out!

Some of the lads found a new bike park North of Manchester that we went to on Saturday.  I wasn’t going to go, but they said to me, ‘Joe Akka. If you don’t come with us you are being a right softie’ Well, no-one calls Joe Akka a softie, so after that, how could I refuse?

It actually turned out to be really good- we usually turn out noses up a bit with anything that Manchester has to offer bikewise, but this park, built by locals was more than impressive.

When I think of bike parks, I always think about them as something more akin to a snowdome-quite fancy,  with of course the name Joe Akka’s bike park emblazoned in lights!  What this park showed me though, was that pretty much anyone can put their mind to building a decent bike park on next to no money if they try.

For me, Joe Akka, there is no better panacea than being stood at the top of a scarily huge jump getting ready to pit myself against the best the earth has to offer.

It might sound a bit pompous, but that is effectively what you are doing- Joe Akka versus the earth, and this park did not disappoint in any way.

It was really surprising to find a park like this so close to Manchester, and it is definitely somewhere that I would look to visit again.  Not only did it have some gut-wrenching jumps, but it also had a huge amount of variety.  There’s no way Joe Akka will let any bike park beat him without a fight!

I’ve got a bit of an achy leg this week.  I went from Manchester to North Wales for a long weekend of mountain biking and had an almighty wipe-out which left me a bit battered and bruised to say the least!

All I can say is that I am really glad to have had my helmet on.  When we first started biking all around Manchester six or seven years ago, my mates used to take the mick out of me saying ‘Joe Akka, you look like a right pleb in that helmet.  Now, this Joe Akka is the one laughing, as everybody wears a helmet and actually looks like a bit of a pleb without one!

I got mine in the first proper bike store that opened in Manchester.  I used to love going into that place.  I didn’t have much money, but I used to price up what I would buy if I did, and as time went on, sure enough, I managed to buy most of the stuff on what I called my Joe Akka wish-list.

I made quite a bit of money by setting up my ‘Joe Akka’s Clean Cars’ car cleaning business, back in the day when no-one would think of going to the local supermarket and offering to wash people’s cars.  Every weekend I’d be there, in car parks all over Manchester scrubbing away, making enough money to sustain what my mum called ‘Joe Akka’s only bad habit’- mountain biking.

I used to love going into that bike shop, and actually I still feel the same today when I step inside a bike shop.

I did have dreams that one day I might open a Joe Akka Biking emporium, and you never know, that might still happen, but just at the moment, I am loving my biking.

Ooh ooh! Not long until the weekend now!  Me (Joe Akka) and a couple of mates are heading up to the Yorkshire Dales to get some good downhill runs in.  Looking at the prices, I’ve seen a good deal to take the bike into Manchester and then out to Huddersfieldon the train, so I’ll probably do that.

Can’t wait.  Mountain biking is my panacea in life (had to look that up!). Whenever I’m having a crap week, which is all too frequently lately, I’ll just go for a blast on my bike and it sorts it.

It’s what I call ‘Joe Akka therapy’.  I know other people pay thousands for therapy so maybe I should just set up Joe Akka Therapy and take them all biking at the weekend?!

That would be quite funny actually.  You could get all these uptight people fromManchesterorLiverpool, get them to meet you at Manchester Piccadilly on a Friday evening, put them up in a youth hostel for the weekend and then charge them a fortune for the privilege!

You never know it might spin off into Joe Akka therapy centres or even Joe Akka hospitals where all you do is make people exercise to get better! Ha Ha!

I do find it quite funny though that people get so stressed and then moan and do nothing about it.  My mum used to say to me ‘Joe Akka, there’s nothing in life that can’t be fixed with a good cup of tea’.  It’s each to their own and my mum’s cup of tea, is my weekend of mountain biking.  There’s nothing like catching a train from Manchester to North Wales on a Friday night, having a few beers in a youth hostel and getting some serious blasting in over the weekend- soo looking forward to this weekend- can’t wait!